Even some guys say it’s hard to be nice. It’s true. Being nice actually requires a stronger mind. An understanding mind. A mind that holds no pre-conceived judgments.  A mind that is always in control of emotions when someone else wants to be the ass. Some people who say that nice people are mostly associated as being pushovers or ignorant of one’s surroundings should be careful. If you are a person who has a temper or usually gets defensive, it will be the nice person that calms you down. Being nice does not mean being tolerant either. Let’s say you’re a leader of a team (at work, sports, family, whatever) and a member unknowingly does the wrong thing and potentially puts your whole team at risk. Some people say that you should take the gloves off and let them have it. Fine, if you want to be inconsiderate and care less about morale. But generally a nice person who understands that something must be corrected does not need to shove a point down your throat. But instead, offer a solution and, more importantly, help the person learn something. If the person still doesn’t learn, you can still be nice but that doesn’t mean you have to keep that person on your team either.

Genuinely nice people are also potentially popular as well since they are more approachable – especially to those who maybe selective with friends.  Nice people usually have backup comprised of very close friends who are bounded by a strong sense of respect. Prideful people are easy prey since there are many more buttons to press but they also find themselves as protectors of nice friends. Nice people are generally respectful people as well. So why not be nice for a day? See what kind of results you get. I’m not saying that you go out there and lay down. I’m saying go out there with a smirk and a nod and get the dirt off your shoulders. If someone pressed one of your rare buttons, don’t lower yourself to petty arguments that lead to nowhere. Instead, try to be nice and understanding. Most importantly, be in control.

Remember: God values deep, long-term faith more than fleeting passion. He knows that the life he has called us to is more like a marriage than a brief love affair. It takes a lot of work for two to become one! Of course there is passion and excitement, but there is also consistency and commitment. – J. Barrios

I agreed and it sparked some thoughts that I’d like to share. So I responded with a comment stating that passion and commitment are NOT the same. In my personal experience, I have met many people who tell me that they will never find the right person or find the right job. They feel that they must always be passionate about that person, job or whatever it is they are trying to attain. Then Mr. Barrios responds.

…loving with your heart is just passion – it can burn out. Loving with your head – there is no truth in that – it’s all utilitarian. With Will… I CHOOSE to love despite what my mind and heart may say.

All across America there are people, young and old alike who are uncommitted to whatever or whoever it is. They have the appearance of commitment. Yet talking the talk is so much easier than walking the walk.

Some people believe it’s the single most important factor, painting passion as the fuel that drives not only success but relationships. The reason passion gets so much credit is that it helps motivate action. And action is what generates results. But for how long? What’s the difference between commitment and passion? And what does God have to do with all this?

Everything. God has everything to do with it.

Why? Commitment is simply following Jesus. Commitment demands a choice, a will, a definite direction. He did  not waste time with the heart of commitment: Either the disciples would be committed to Him and deny their own desires. Or, they would be determined to go their own ways and deny Him. The choice to commit is the same for all believers – either deny ourselves or deny Him; either go His way or we pursue our way.

It’s true. Any talk about Christ would be meaningless without the walk with Him. I’ve always had a hard time expressing my faith through words or biblical queries but I do remember the story of how Daniel’s commitment turned a whole kingdom toward God. It was the stuff. I always believed the power of example.

To conclude, let me leave you with another story:

A house church in the former Soviet Union received a copy of the gospel of Luke. Since it was illegal to possess this Scripture they tore it up into little pieces and distributed it among the body of believers. Their plan was to memorize the portion they had been given, then on the next Lord’s Day they would meet and redistribute the sections. On Sunday these believers arrived inconspicuously in small groups throughout the day so as not to arouse the suspicion of KGB informers. By dusk they were all safely inside, windows closed and doors locked. They began by singing a hymn quietly but with deep emotion. Suddenly, the door was pushed open and in walked two soldiers with loaded automatic weapons at the ready. One shouted, “All right – everybody line up against the wall. If you wish to renounce you commitment to Jesus Christ, leave now!” Two or three quickly left, then another. After a few more seconds, two more.

“This is you last chance. Either turn against your faith in Christ,” he ordered, “or stay and suffer the consequences.”

Another left. Finally two more in embarrassed silence, their faces covered, slipped out into the night. No one else moved.

Parents with small children trembling beside them looked down reassuringly. They fully expected to be gunned down or, at best, to be imprisoned.

After a few moments of complete silence, the other soldier closed the door, looked back at those who stood against the wall and said, “Keep you hands up – but this time in praise to our Lord Jesus Christ, brothers and sisters. We, too, are Christians. We were sent to another house church several weeks ago to a group of believers – ”

The other soldier interrupted, ” . . . but, instead we were converted! We have learned by experience, however, that unless people are willing to die for their faith, they cannot be fully trusted.”

1. Know what you’re risking

“Never put all your eggs in one basket”. That part is easy such as not quitting your day job. But the real question should be “which eggs should I put in the basket?”. Not all eggs are created equal. A lot of the times, when you are starting up a new company or new business, there are going to be costs involved and it may not necessarily be money. It may be your time or even something else entirely different.

Here’s an example:

Once in awhile I would come across an old friend who started an  MLM-based business. That friend would always push me in joining him in the MLM-scene. I’ve been in that scene before. Lots of people making tons of money using pyramid schemes. He says I would be making tons of money. All I would need to do is buy their overpriced demo kit and I would be on my merry way to making tons of money. He maybe right. People have made tons of money off these schemes.

The risk? Relationships with friends. Your morals. I wasn’t into the business of recruiting people just for money or to support a bad product. How you make the money is just as important as how much.

2. It must be more than a feeling.

In the world of start ups, you have to know what you’re doing and be committed. Starting a company has to be more than just trying to satisfy a feeling. It must be a consistent passion. The idea of having your own company is always going to sound exciting. Tossing around grandeur ideas with friends about owning lavish homes, having full control of their lives and being your own boss will always sound like a dream. That is. Until you actually start working towards it. If your first month of business feels like a regular job, you’re better off getting a regular job. Running a start-up takes many many hours to properly start. A 12-16 hour day is a norm for start-ups. And even then, there are still risks as always. Be prepared for the ups and downs of the business. If you’re still around after a couple of down times, you know you’re in it for the long haul.

I have helped almost a hundred clients try to launch their startup. Less than 5% of those clients have become successful. The secret? Commitment and consistency. If you don’t have either. Get out now. If you’re half-assing things, you’re only making it worse by not doing your best. Even worse, faking yourself into thinking you’ll eventually become successful. I’m also sorry to report that if you’re the CEO/founder, you’re the person that has to work the most.

3. Be prepared for failure and/or adapt

If you’re one of the lucky ones who is starting his/her company off well, make sure you have a backup plan. As I said in the previous item, there are also some down times. If those downtimes turn into something serious, you have to be ready for it. Create a secondary plan over what you should do in case traffic hasn’t increased for months or when customers start leaving. There maybe days where all your twitter followers and facebook fans will  disappear one day. Make sure you’re ready for it. If your business is taking a different direction but is working very well you may have to go for it. Don’t be stubborn. The founders of YouTube originally created the company to help assist sellers on eBay to demonstrate their products through video. Instead, people are using YouTube for pretty much anything. So the founders adapted and went for it.

4. Make sure you have real support.

If you’re single and young, you’re good; especially if you have your parents behind you. If you have a girlfriend or boyfriend who is backing  you up that’s good but not necessary unless of course he or she is your fiancée. If you have close friends, cool but stay grounded. Most of them will tell you what you want to hear with a few haters mixed in. The best support is friends (or friends of friends) who have been in the field and have been in real funded startups before. They would tell you what you need to know and what you need to hear.

If you’re married, make absolute sure that your wife or husband is with you one hundred percent and that you tell them all the risks that goes into starting the company, especially your time.  Keep them updated on how the business is going. If there are children, make sure you get them in the mix too because you’re going to have to tell them why you’re spending all this time and money going after some crazy idea. Any less support than that will lead to endless arguments and resentment hovering above the family if the business takes its first sudden loss. Not only will you compromise your business but your relationships with your loved ones. Ultimately, you must remember these three words: Family comes first.

5. Have the right people

Unless you’re running a lemonade stand, a start-up company cannot be run by one person. You will need people. Just don’t have too many. I can’t tell you the millions of times where I’ve been in meetings at houses, some community center or even a restaurant where a bunch of people are wanting to start a website. From these meetings, ideas are literally thrown from everywhere and everyone is either nodding at the idea or shooting it down. Very seldom will you find a start-up company that is coordinated enough to orchestrate 10-20 people. Start small. Find people who share a common vision. The right people do more than just talk about ideas; they prototype them. What may sound good by ear may not look good on paper or even on the web or vice-versa. If you can find people like this, you’re in good hands. If they happen to be good friends, that’s a plus too.  Find people who are not only good listeners and talkers but good executors as well. People who know their roles early on in a company that have the same amount of passion as you do are going to play large roles on how the company gets shaped.

6.  Know why you’re doing it.

Startup companies who become very successful usually have a staff who is passionate and consistent in building their company’s roadmap.  Of course, it is important that people who start companies also need to eat. Successful companies are usually genuine about how they want to solve a problem or start an online service dedicated to helping people. I know a couple of programmers who have helped several companies for free just because they loved to work on a project they were passionate about. A little healthy obsession doesn’t hurt either. A good indicator is your determination and desire to make something worthwhile. Make something you know you’d be proud of, irregardless of whether you were paid for it or not.

In the end, your determination and adaptability play a major part in getting a startup on the right foot. Take it entrepreneurs. It’s yours.