After kindling a long time relationship with my SO for almost 10 years, I actually had a 1 to 1 with her folks.  Something that has never happened until last Sunday.  I helped Odd's bro with his computer and dropped it off at their house.  No Odd, Mike or Ronald to talk to so I guess her parents noticed the little things and nice shit happens.

Rad: "Hi Uncle.  Where's Mike?
Odd's Dad: "Thank you Rad.  Thanks for fixing Michael's computer."
Rad: "Sure."
Odd's Dad: "Why don't you come down here and have a seat?"
Rad: "Sure."
Odd's Mom: "Are you hungry?"
Rad: "I'm ok."
Odd's Mom: "Are you sure?"
Rad: "Yessum"
Odd's Dad: "Don't pester him!  He just fixed the computer!"
Rad: "That's ok Uncle."
Odd's Mom: "So are you hungry?"
Rad: "Hahaha.....No.  That's ok.  I'll eat later"

Her parents are the introvert type.  They're not likely to go out all the time and they're more likely to ask their kids what they want to eat for dinner rather than how their lives are doing.  I was also pressed to drop by a b-day party during that day but felt that I should stay a bit longer to chit chat with her mom and pops.  I also knew that my cousin would understand anyway.  Thanks Chance.

Odd's Dad: "I appreciate you fixing Michael's computer.  Not many are willing to do that."
Rad: "I consider Michael and Ronald as extra brothers."
Odd's Dad: "I'm glad you said that."

So the conversation goes on about Odd, Mike, and Ronald.  I always considered Odd's mom and dad pleasant people but they were extremely shy and timid.  That's all changed now thanks to Odd and her sibs...but mostly Odd. Her need to spend time with her parents and strike random interesting conversations was one of the reasons why I've been with this woman for so long.

Odessi's parents shared stories about their kids' caveats and complaints. I had stories of my own about my sibs and my parents too.  Most of it humurous.  It was the first time I've ever seen them very comfortable conversating with me. 

Odessi and I have always talked about how having close families are the underlying basis for many successful people.  We always thought that family always came first and our closest friends were extensions of our family but never replacements.   Unless our moms and dads absolutely did nothing to help us out, family would always come first.

I remember when I was younger, I was naive enough to believe some of my former friends who were always talking about how their parents never did anything for them.  They would mention how they wouldn't let them out later than 10p.  They would mention how they didn't get the new shoes or the new car.  They would complain about how their parents didn't let them join football or how they act "unfriendly" or "uninviting" with their friends.  Yeah.  I was the same way.  Smart but rebellious.  Hard working but stubborn.  I was the type where I felt my parents were always on my case.  That's changed now.  My mom was patient with the kids and my Dad.  Those of you who have known me for years know about my famous stories and conflicts with my Dad.  So yeah.  My mom was the catalyst for the Castro family's growth.  Lucky me.

You want the brutal truth of what I think about kids today compared to how I was back then?  They are much more smarter but just as stubborn now.  Kids nowadays watch more MTV and VH-1 then try to emulate those lifestyles through high school...even if they say they don't.  If they don't get the attention or communication they should get from their parents they'll definitely get it from somewhere else.  Hopefully it'll come from good friends; especially ones with good parents.  If not, the parents are in for a long haul. 

So what makes up of a strong family?  A strong family creates a positive and supportive place for everyone to thrive.  This is why the eldest of the kids and parents have to set the tone.  They need to be good role models that lead by example. They reach out to friends and community and teach their children the importance of doing the same - and that becomes part of who the children will become. They work together to solve problems, and they pass their skills on to the next generation.  Some important elements of a strong family system are family cohesion, family flexibility and family communication.

• Be Cohesive - In families, cohesion would be nice feeling of being loved, of belonging to the group and just growing with one another. Although close is good, there must be a balance between being the Partridge family and being separate, someone should be able to do their own thing, while being supported and confident within the family. A few things that bring a family together are the commitment of other family members, and the spending of time together...even if no one says anything.  Maybe a movie?
  
  
• Flexibility - Having structure in a family is always good...just not so much that the family becomes rigid and the authority figures become resented. We could compare a successful family to a democracy. Parents are always the leaders, but the whole group is always involved in the decision making. Although the parents are in charge everyone should develop the ability to cope with stress, and at times step up when things go down. Usually, a good family works together to solve problems without finding fault with each other. Families that tend to have a strong spiritual base seem to have a sense of well-being that facilitates what a real family is all about in times of stress.  Castros are usually known for this.
  
  
• Communicate - Ever hear the saying, "How come we're not talking any more?". A lack of communication can rip a family apart and destroy them. Things that facilitate communication are the things mentioned so far -- family closeness, flexibility, time spent together, spirituality. All members must feel a freedom within the group to express themselves freely.  Even if they don't someone should considerately express something.  The love has to come from somewhere.
  
  Another very important factor is the relationship between mom and pops. In a family that is parented by a close couple, people are able to express themselves more freely. I notice that most happy marriages seem to set the tone in the house. It spills over from the family to the community and a healthy family will be reaching out to help others.  Remember the saying "help yourself before you help others"? Same thing here. Your family doesn't have to be giddy with one another but if your family is pretty close you'll notice that they do not tend to isolate themselves from the rest of the world.
  
  A very important thing for families to teach their children is how to make good decisions. If they have watched their parents making well thought out decisions over the years, they will tend to be good decision makers themselves.

A healthy, happy family benefits our whole society. Among the children of strong families their is less crime, less divorce and less emotional problems. They tend to go on and have strong, healthy families of their own, having learned from their folks example. So yeah. Tell your mom and dad that they rock.  They'll appreciate it.