I'm sleepless at 4am in the morning. Alot of thoughts run through my mind about how I should live the rest of my life. This is not a fucking mission statement. I am not Jerry McGuire.
It's just a meaty blog that comes straight from the pit of my stomach.
As conceited as this sounds, I can honestly say that I am somewhat a crazy-ass overachiever. In some ways, I can be a dick about the very subtle things that can affect the outcome of any goal I try to accomplish. If you know me, you'll know I've had a good college education and have had trillions of jobs that ranged from McDonalds to highly respected companies and government agencies. I also run a part time business with one of my best friends and I go all out for business. I'm considered a rare commodity in the world of corporate systems and computers. The minute my resume goes public, I get a call within a day. It's as if I never left the dot-com era.
I have alot of things that I bought that I've always wanted. I have a 5 bedroom home, nice modded cars, shitloads of video games, and a whole slew of other random stuff that few people give a crap about.
I also do alot of things. Just browse through this site if you're that bored.
I'm not exactly the best looking person nor do I have an enticing personality. My brothers cover that ground well. I can proudly thank them for that. BUT, If there is one thing I do best, it's accomplishing goals. Sometimes it takes longer than usual, but I get the job done and get great compliments - an overachiever's high.
However, after today, this will no longer be the case.
When Uncle moved on, I gave a eulogy during his viewing. I didn't have anything prepared but, as a kid, I remember playing chess with him. He was a prolific chess player who participated in professional chess leagues and tournaments. During my sophomore year in high school, I was the kid who joined the Chess Club and played many matches during lunch in the library. He bested alot of opponents and he always tried to teach me some new tactic every time we played. "Don't waste your moves. Every move counts when it has a purpose," he would say. During those days, I've played in many chess matches against pretty good players but every game against Uncle would result in me losing half of my chess pieces.
"I'm done playing. I give up," I said.
"Why? You're still alive," he would reply.
"But I already lost."
"No you didn't."
He would then switch sides using my remaining pieces and win...every time. He would remind me to "never give up" and not "waste moves". Since then, I've taken that advice to heart and have always tried to accomplish things. Sadly, I have done a couple of things to mostly benefit myself. After Uncle passed away, I've have finally found the true meaning of his advice.
My uncle was a simple man with simple goals. He was a mail carrier who worked tirelessly. He would be the first to work early and the last to leave late. He was always smiling and he really didn't need much to be happy. He was always helping the family in some way and I guess you could say that it contributed to his happiness.
This is not to say that we should just rest on our laurels and be satisfied. In fact, we should be doing more. The difference is doing things with "purpose".
Sometimes, despite all the negativity we get from all kinds of sources, you have to appreciate and value the time you have on this earth. You must make the most of it. The richest, most successful person in the world, and the poorest person each have the same 24 hours in every single day of their lives. The difference is in what they do with that time.
As long as what you're doing is helping others or contributing to family or society as a whole, then by all means do it - it's likely to be God's willing. Besides, he's the one that created us all anyway.
I sometimes wonder if my uncle is watching me type this blog right now. Rest in peace Uncle. We all miss you.
-Rad